Top 10 Reasons the Rapture Will be Especially Bad for Packers Fans
The Rapture: Seems that today, May 21st, 2011, some of us Packer fans may be leaving this earth for a better place (oh, there’s a Lambeau Field in heaven?) while the rest will be forced to stay behind and watch the Vikings win a Championship. Talk about cruel and unusual punishment…
But seriously (ok, not really), all this hooey did get me thinking a bit. If any group in the world right now has a vested interest in things staying just as they are, it’s Cheesehead Nation.
Why should we be deprived of a full year to be able to say, “World Champion Green Bay Packers” to any Vikings or Bears fans dumb enough to try to talk smack with us.
Amazingly there are even better reasons. Even more fabulous things we would miss out on if this really is THE END.
So with apologies to David Letterman, here’s my list of Top Ten Things Packers Fans Will Never Experience if the World Ends Today.
10. The joy of seeing Shawn Slocum get fired for yet another year of horrible special teams play.
9. Finding out which model or actress Aaron Rodgers finally marries.
8. Witnessing the Ted Thompson Leg Cross.
7. Watching Bears and Vikings fans fall into deep depressions.
6. Seeing an Aaron Rodgers statue erected in Green Bay before Brett Favre gets one.
5. Good pad level producing pawsitive results.
4. James “Neo” Starks proving the Oracle was right- he is the one.
3. Brett Favre un-retiring again to play in the Lingerie Football League. Think of the sexting possibilities…
2. Mason Crosby averaging 80% on field goals (actually, that wasn’t going to happen anyway…)
And finally, the number one thing Packers fans will never experience if the world ends today…
1. Finding out for sure that Nick Barnett (a.k.a. Nostradamus) really meant, “Super Bowl and Die.”
Damn you Nick. Goodbye cruel world…——————
Jersey Al Bracco is the founder and editor of AllGreenBayPackers.com, and the co-founder of Packers Talk Radio Network. He can be heard as one of the Co-Hosts on Cheesehead Radio and is the Green Bay Packers Draft Analyst for Drafttek.com.