28

April

Packers GM Ted Thompson Found Alive – Again…

Packers GM Ted Thompson

Packers GM Ted Thompson targeted by radical fans?

The first two days of the 2012 NFL Draft have quickly unfolded and Packers’ GM Ted Thompson has fulfilled the wishes of most Packers fans by going defense, defense, defense. In press conferences at lambeau Field, Mr. Thompson has insisted these weren’t “need” picks, but I think we all know the truth (nudge nudge, wink wink, say no more).

The similarities to the 2009 draft, with the trading up and the focus on defense and apparently, need, early on  reminded me of a fun little piece I wrote after that draft. I think it pretty much works again, so here it is, as originally written:

In an amazing development, the NFL has just revealed that a sleeper cell of radical Packer fans successfully pulled off a plot to kidnap Packers GM Ted Thompson before the NFL draft and replace him with a look-alike puppet.

Thompson was found this morning, bruised but otherwise unharmed, in a dumpster outside of a Holiday Inn in nearby Appleton, Wisconsin. Thompson had been drugged and woke up confused in the dumpster. His calls for help attracted the attention of hotel guests, who helped him out of the dumpster and untied him.

Upon being found, Thompson was quoted as asking what had happened in the NFL Draft. When told the Packers had drafted strictly at need positions, he fell to his knees and cried out “no wide receivers”?

Packer fans everywhere suddenly have an explanation for the strage events that took place this weekend. The Green Bay Packers drafted for need with every selection, ignoring the “best player available” mantra they normally espouse.

Yes, now it’s obvious. This was a draft for the fans, by the fans. It’s just not feasible that the real Ted Thompson would have ever drafted this way. No wide receivers? No quarterbacks? No trading down for more picks? Come on.

The extent of this plot is not yet known and we are left with many questions. How many fans were involved? Are other attacks in the works? Who crafted such a perfect look-alike puppet that nobody even noticed it wasn’t the real Ted?

These and other questions are still to be answered. In the meantime, while I don’t advocate or condone such actions, allow me to simply say “Thank You.”

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Jersey Al Bracco is the founder and editor of AllGreenBayPackers.com, and the co-founder of Packers Talk Radio Network. He can be heard as one of the Co-Hosts on Cheesehead Radio and is the Green Bay Packers Draft Analyst for Drafttek.com.

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4 Responses to “Packers GM Ted Thompson Found Alive – Again…”

  1. jrunde10 says:

    Al, you have no idea how happy this article makes me. Lmao! Awesome.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

  2. Ron LC says:

    First, I loved the Monty Python impression Al.

    I’m sure the story will be passed on to the AP for national distribution. Like most conspiracy theories a vocal and aggressive minority will insist they know someone, who knew someone, that had a cousin who lived in that same dumpster. They will be on ESPN (the sports worlds’ answer to MSNBC)testifying to the authenticity of the events. As they’re on air a flying saucer will fly over Lambeau and deposit the real TT in his box.

    Actually Al, this draft should confirm to those of us who worry about TT to just sit back and enjoy the ride. He can always aclaim BPA because we all know he has multiple players rated the same point value and if he gets one of them – taadaaa.

    I’m a happy guy at this point in the draft. Dig deep and try and find those diamonds buried in the obscure schools like Behtune Cookman. Home of Nick Collins.

    Go Pack – 2012 “The Year of Revnge!”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  3. chris k says:

    Hahaha that was funny!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

  4. Mojo says:

    Every few years Ted’s doppelganger comes out of hiding and takes his place in the draft room. Good year for him to appear. Go Whitey!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0