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October

If the Packers are Shut Down like the Government, Who is Essential and Who is Non-Essential?

Mike McCarthy is not happy about being classified as non-essential.

For the first nine years of my professional life, I was “non-essential.”

Non-essential was never really defined. I worked hard. Went above and beyond. Got plenty of accolades. Was told my work was very important by everyone I interacted with. Got a paycheck once every two weeks.

But when push came to shove, I was categorized as non-essential.

Yes, I worked for the federal government. And whenever our wonderful elected officials couldn’t agree on a budget, a government shutdown was threatened. That’ when we found out which civil servants were essential and which were non-essential.

The essential people were designated to work through the shut down. I guess their jobs were considered really important, or something.

The non-essential people were sent home until the politicians figured out a budget. We were non-essential, so whatever, right?

I no longer work for the government, so I’m spared the humiliation of being labeled non-essential as our government shuts down today. All of you non-essentials out there reading this right now, I feel for you. You are all essential in my view. Don’t let the haters bring you down.

The shutdown got me thinking: If the Packers got shutdown like the federal government, who would be essential and who would be non-essential?

These are the things I think about. Welcome to my brain.

Aaron Rodgers
Definitely essential. He’s the best player on the team and plays the most important position. The Packers couldn’t function without him.

Mike McCarthy
Sorry, Mike, but you’re non-essential. Aaron Rodgers can call the plays and I don’t even think you can name five defensive players on your own team.

Evan Dietrich-Smith
Essential. Someone has to snap the ball to Rodgers.

Brett Goode
Non-essential. The Packers will never punt or kick field goals. Just score touchdowns. No need for a long-snapper, punter or kicker. Goode will be furloughed and play his guitar in Green Bay coffee shops until the shut down is over.

Clay Matthews
Can we furlough Matthews’ hamstring and keep the rest of his body?

Eddie Lacy
All running backs are non-essential. The Packers proved that in 2010.

Tramon Williams
He’s non-essential, but since Williams hasn’t shut down an opposing WR since 2010, he doesn’t know what the term means and hangs around anyway.

Jermichael Finley
Just to anger Packers fans and keep the comments sections at Packers blogs lively, Finley is deemed essential.

Dom Capers
Kevin Greene personally tells Capers that he’s non-essential and escorts him out of the building.

James Jones
Somebody has to rock the sleeveless turtle neck, so Jones stays on the job.

Ryan Pickett
During the shutdown, the Packers can’t afford to feed their fat players so Pickett is non-essential.

Ted Thompson
He doesn’t sign any free agents, so what’s the point of keeping Thompson around? In addition to calling the plays, Rodgers can run the draft too. He’ll probably draft 10 WRs every year, but he’ll make it work.

Brett Favre
The ‘ol Gunslinger is in the best shape of his life and will ride into Green Bay to personally save the franchise and end the shutdown. Essential!

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Packers tickets - essential!

 

 

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Adam Czech is a freelance reporter and a Packers fan living in the Twin Cities. Follow Adam on Twitter. Read more of Adam's writing on the Packers here.

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22 Responses to “If the Packers are Shut Down like the Government, Who is Essential and Who is Non-Essential?”

  1. Outis says:

    Adam: No one could ever accuse you of having a serious mind.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 13 Thumb down 2

  2. Razer says:

    Bored eh.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 2

  3. steve cheez says:

    Great concept, Adam, and even better execution!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 2

  4. Savage57 says:

    It’s your world Adam, and we are but the essential voices that is proof it exists.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 1

  5. Barry says:

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 10

  6. palmda says:

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 10

  7. Tundraboy says:

    This is why I hate bye weeks

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 1

  8. Razer says:

    If you would like to provoke discussion/argument perhaps an article about the 2014 draft needs of this team. Four games in and people probably have some pretty strong ideas on our personnel weaknesses. It would also be interesting to compare these early season feelings to our end of season assessment of the team needs. Just an idea in the lull of the bye

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 1

    • Ed Schoenfeld says:

      That’s an interesting idea, but it would be hard to estimate draft needs when 15 players (including 5 starters) are going to be UFAs.

      Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 1

      • Adam Czech says:

        2014 draft needs: Good football players.

        Personnel weaknesses: Safety, offensive line, hamstrings.

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 1

        • Bearmeat Bearmeat says:

          Am I the ONLY one that sees a decent at least line in GB’s immediate OL future? They’ve got 2 1st round OT’s back next year. They’ll have Bakh. And Barclay.

          T will be a strength.

          G is already pretty good.

          That leaves either depending on EDS to get better (or Tretter) at C or drafting one.

          That’s not that bad.

          Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 1

          • Razer says:

            I agree Bearmeat. We just need a little more time for these guys to come together. Unfortunately, we live in a time of now.

            Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 1

        • Nick Perry says:

          Speaking of the offensive line I just saw that the Ravens traded for Eugene Monroe, LT from the Jags. Monroe was like the 8th overall pick like 4 year ago and they got him for a couple of Mid Round draft picks. Like Adam pointed out Ted T doesn’t sign any FA or make any trades for that matter. Personally I’m tired of our 120 million dollar man get the hell knocked out of him every game. You’d think for a GM who’s favorite phrase is “We’re always looking to improve our football team”, might have tried to make a deal like that. But then again, you can’t beat the price for a 4th round LT rookie and a UDFA right tackle can you Ted? HhI mean hell, you probably have $500,000.00 tied up FOR BOTH.

          Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 4

  9. GBPDAN says:

    I found your article entertaining, its a shame that our ‘leaders’ cant function together properly.

    I’d like to add that I believe, if Aaron was GM, that he would draft some O linemen along with those WRs. He must be tired of not having enough time to throw (and getting hit). Also, I would like to see MM sit a game out and have Rodgers run the O, just as an experiment. Let Arod call all the plays and make game decisions. P. Manning called his own plays in Indy.

    I think Aaron knows the importance of a running game so I don’t think it would be 70 percent pass 30 percent Run. I also think that Aaron would do a better job at play calling. Just one game to see how it works out, that would be a gas.

    Heck, let’s let Kevin Greene run the defense for a game, also, and see if he actually makes halftime adjustments unlike Dom Capers, lol

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 2

  10. Since '61 says:

    If anyone is paying attention, Aaron Rodgers is calling most of the plays at the line of scrimmage, especially in the no huddle offense. It’s not the plays, or who is calling them, it’s the execution, especially on the o-line. Thanks, Since’61

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 2

  11. Nathan says:

    Hey palmda,
    I’ve read many of your posts, and I believe the word you’re looking for is personnel. Unless of course, everything is very personal to you.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 1

  12. Ed day says:

    Adam. Just plain goofy. AR calling his own plays, that was so stupid couldn’t read rest

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 3

    • Adam Czech says:

      Yet you scrolled to the bottom and submitted a comment.

      I blame you for the shutdown.

      Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 7 Thumb down 3

      • Outis says:

        If Ed is responsible for the government shutdown, he should be praised not blamed. Hey, Ed, any chance you can make it permanent?

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 4

  13. Stroh says:

    Aaron Rodgers can call the plays huh? How did that turn out for New Orleans last year? They went from SB contender to a sub .500 team with Brees calling the plays! Short memory anyone?!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 1

  14. If we have to wait on all our draft picks to develop the pack will be left in the dust. About a third of them are injured, another third aren’t that good & if we get lucky, we might get a few guys out of the last third that can play. at least when you get a FA you know what you’re getting. I don’t think you can exclude the FA market or trade market. That’s where our good players are going to wind up eventually. the Woodson deal wound up pretty good for us, no reason to ignore that market.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 1