24

December

A Green Bay Packers Christmas Wish List

I’ve always wondered what professional athletes put on their wish lists for Christmas, especially the ones with a large contract. After all, having millions or even just tens of thousands of dollars at your disposal can pretty much buy you whatever you want. Fortunately, I have managed to put my curiosity to rest this week.

Through some careful reconnaissance work, I was able to secure a sampling of items that various Green Bay Packers players and coaches have put on their Christmas lists this year. And in the spirit of giving, I have decided to share the findings with you.

So without any further ado, I present to you the 2011 Green Bay Packers Christmas Wish List:

Aaron Rodgers – “Defensive Cookbook: The NFL’s Top 10 Recipes For Stopping High-Powered Offenses”

Ryan Grant – 20 carries in a single game

James Starks – Black reflective sunglasses, a trenchcoat, and the red pill

Randall Cobb – Percy Harvin’s Playbook

Donald Driver – New publishing deal for a fourth book, “Quickie Wins His Second Championship”

Jordy Nelson – “White Men Can’t Jump” (DVD)

Jermichael Finley – Prototype for Mueller’s new brand of “Traceless Stickum”

Tom Crabtree – The Foo Fighters to get back together

Andrew Quarless – One more shot on Jared Allen

Ryan Taylor – Private lessons from LeRoy Butler on doing the Lambeau Leap

T.J. Lang – A comfortable athletic cup

Evan Dietrich-Smith – “Get In Their Heads: 99 Ways to Annoy Your Opponent”

B.J. Raji – An endorsement deal with Frigidaire

Howard Green – An endorsement deal with Omaha Steaks

Desmond Bishop – “101 Silly Chuck Norris Jokes” for NOOK

A.J. Hawk – Aretha Franklin’s “Respect” on original LP

D.J. Smith – Another growth spurt

Clay Matthews – Renewed subscription to GQ Magazine

Frank Zombo – A flowing Spanish cape, a flat-brimmed black sombrero cordobés, a black cowl sackcloth mask, and a shiny new rapier

Sam Shields – A tattoo artist that can count

Tramon Williams – Face Atlanta again in the playoffs

Charles Woodson – Roger Goodell to abolish the “Tuck Rule”

Mason Crosby – A roof for Lambeau Field

Tim Masthay – Adamantium claws

Mike McCarthy – A case of ice-cold Iron City Beer from the homeland

Dom Capers – Cullen Jenkins